A new change will begin

As I always think, my career path has never been smooth. For some position, others can just take it without any difficulty, some even beg them to take the role. For me, I always need to work harder and harder, but still just step up a little bit. Anyhow, I still feel grateful in these 4 years, I at least got something in my hands. All my efforts and hardworks are recognized in some aspects.

Some asked me, why I still want to stay after so much disappointment. For me, one reason is I'm actually quite a lazy person. I'm lazy to do the job hunting, I'm lazy to attend interviews and answer questions. I'm lazy to go to a new environment and learn everything from the beginnng...

Another thing is, I had put so much effort and work on this team, I'm one of the 'pioneers' of this team, we built up the team, we learnt all the skills and knowledge then teach the others. Every single document in the KB, every emails that we sent out, all with our blood, sweat and tears... we have gone through so much challenge, but at last, the team almost collapse. This is sad. I just... don't want to give up.

After the meeting, I feel more doubt and puzzled. I really don't know what's ahead of me. Starting from next week, I will take a new challenge. L decided to stay, but will work part-time (half day) for one month. But S is sure to go. I have to learn to make decision by my own, try not to make any mistake, learn to take more responsibilities, and of course, time management and task management.

Am I really capable to handle all these?