Fight...

I can't say today is a happy day. But I believe with my optimism, I can overcome all these before dawn. Actually I have put that behind of my mind when I started to arrange the gathering in the coming CNY.

Sometimes, the situation will make you feel yourself is not valuable within the community. It's disappointing when you think that your contribution is enough for you to play a important role but in fact it's not. You are still the "one of the normal", not much than that.

I tried to make a change, somehow thing doesn't turn into what I expected. And the end what you can change is just your mind, change how you feel and think. It's hard because you have to fight with your mind, you know that you're not satisfy with that, but you have to stop your negative thinking. Keep youself up and not to be influent by the bad things and people. I have been working on it for the whole day, it's quite tiring.

I have my own reason to keep myself fit in, but it doesn't mean that I love to be in that way. I can't change the situation, just mind my own business. The only thing I can do now, is to do my best on my own, without giving others chance to pick holes in my work.

I hate to put myself into such a situation, but what can I do?