Posts

Stay Strong and Move Forward

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It's quite some time since my last update.
It was really a tough conversation. "Tough" as in what we were talking about seems really upsetting. We feel each other, we feel the same.
When someone trying so hard to proof that you are useless, sometimes I even agreed with them. Ya... maybe I didn't work hard enough.
But it's just wasn't me. I used to be so strong to get through all the storms and hard times.
For those who know what I've been through, it wasn't easy for me throughout the decade.
I used to believe that I'm kinda strong person, until 2 years ago someone commented me that I'm not resilience and adaptable.
It was the darkest time for me, after that, it seems that I can walk into any storm. Even though the person still keep on trying to pull me down.
I think I'm not so assertive sometimes to stand on my own feet and keep it strong enough to fight against negative things.
I believe I can find my way out.

Some thoughts

It's sad that when you have added too many friends in your Facebook, you need to be very careful when you are posting your words, because all of your friends, colleagues, family members, relatives, etc. will all see what you have posted. It happened that, I posted a picture where my car got hit and bent, not long later, my aunt called my mom and asked what happened. Actually I wouldn't have posted if I didn't want my family to know, but I just thought of telling them after I settled everything. I didn't expect the words were spread so fast.

Now even if I'm really emotional and wanted to put something on to vent out my stress, I have to think twice, triple, or forever. Either I limit the view to closed friends only, or I exclude somebody or some group of people from the viewing it, or I don't post at all.

I know it's immature to vent out my own feeling online, especially negative ones. But sometimes when the emotion comes you really can't help it. I used t…

2017 Resolution

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I just realized I didn't manage to write my 2016 Resolution here. I only found one in my Chinese blog: 展望2016

So from here, just see what I have achieved and where I am at the end of the year. Some of them I believe I should continue until next year. 😝

1. Weight Control: Not much achieved, I lost a bit in the second half but I think after stopping exercise for a month I gained it back. So it'll still be my next year resolution. My goal is to go down below 60 by Q1 at least, it'll be good if I can go below 55 at the end of the year.

2. Sleep and Diet:Unfortunately, no progress for this and instead it's actually getting worse. I have very very little sleep everyday especially weekdays. I didn't really control my diet but a few years back I used to reduce heavy food like oily, salty, spicy, high calories, but last year, I actually took a lot of heavy food, junk food, fast food.... I think I've even lost control on my food. I think I should take a control on it for m…

My Throwback of 2016

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My journey in 2016 didn't start good at the beginning. But after I finally got myself back on, I managed to do things better. It ended quite... well... actually not bad, I won't say it's perfectly fine, at least it has improved from what I expected.
I had 2 overseas trip this year, HK & TW. Both are not budget trip, considering the spending I had for the trip or in the country. However it was fun and I would think it worth the money I spent. There are some moments money can't buy. Next year I hope that I can travel more and hopefully it'll more more budget.
For games, I'm still playing my Candy Crush Soda and Farmville 2. I realized that I played Criminal Mind a lot last year but stopped since Sep. After that I'm getting into Pokemon Go. Anyhow I'm not a hardcore player, not a good player also.
I'm a fan for Super Junior, and like some of the Korean groups and songs. This year I started to like EXO. Not a diehard fan, but started to follow their ne…

Always in Our Heart

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It's heartbroken to hear a sobbing voice from the phone and you can't help to soothe the pain.

The lost of the loved one in all a sudden is very shocking and unexpected. Even I can't really believe how things could happen in just a few weeks, a person who was still smiling and talking to you a few months ago has disappeared from your life just like that.

I didn't see him much actually. I just met him a few times and we talked for not longer than 1 hour in total. Usually it was during weddings, his daughter's and son's. Nothing much. I still remember he was such a humble and gentle person. He always speak softly, slow pace, low tone. I never heard he raised up his voice, I never saw him getting irritated with somebody or something. He was such a nice man that I thought he could at least be with them for at least 20 years.

My friend was really shocked when the first message that she got was he was diagnosed with a possibly fatal illness. She was ready to come back, …

Spoke Out

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First, it started with a statement from my organization:
Feel free to speak your mind without negative consequences.
Somehow it doesn't really exist in real situation. People are afraid in their mind, no matter how much you encourage them to speak out. Things are always personal. It takes a very high EQ and wisdom to be a neutral person.
After a thousand thoughts in my mind, finally, since he brought up the SPS, I made up my mind and took my 120% courage to stop him and speak my mind.
It was not an easy conversation definitely, especially when you know that who are you dealing with. For someone who poor in words like me, it really takes up a lot of guts to open up my heart to others who has the decisive role to you.
It took less than an hour to complete the conversation, although when I thought about it afterwards I found that I have missed out some important points, I still feel relieved at least I've spoken out what I have been thinking of doing it for so long.
Will it bring any n…

Bad Mood

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The bad feeling and emotion have been bothering me since the day I got the result and it has never really recovered.

I keep on thinking what have I done wrong or didn't do that make me the worst of all. And why the gap is so big until I found myself in a valley while others are on the mountain top. Am I really that bad? If not, why I was being treated in that way? Is there something I could have done differently to at least not being mistreated?

People keeps on telling me to be "Resilience", But what does it mean by that? If the outcome is due to an unexpected crisis happened which is out of control like economic downturn, policy change, etc. at least it's not because of performance issue, I feel down, upset but still no doubt on myself. But this time, it seems what I've got is just because of my performance issue, and in fact what I've done was not much less or worse than those highflyers, then why it's happening to me? How do I be resilience if things …