Talk

After talking with A, I really felt better. I thought it would not be easy, but actually I found myself more comfortable talking with her than the K guy. It's not good to stand up to somebody that has a higher position than you, but it's good that you can have another way to talk to somebody else, somebody is even higher.

I like talking to her, I can't judge if it's some kind of tricks or what, if I'll have any trouble after this talk, if somebody will set me up, then I have to take it. I can't hold myself too much, I have to find some way to release my stress.

Anyhow, thanks for her listening. At least I have passed my message to her. For the rest, just leave it to my destiny.

Staying alive

I have been trying so hard to stay focus, think positive and keep up on my work. But sometimes things are not just go smoothly as you expect, not even normal.

MC. Every month. Is it normal? I have got the "perfect attendance" but of course I won't expect everyone to be like this, it'll be insane to ask your people for that. But at least, not every month. Will it be too much to ask for that?

We are shorthanded now, I'm struggling to get things done, and other people, they are just taking it very easy as it has nothing to bother them. So why should I care? I'm not the boss.

I'll try if I could talk to somebody tomorrow. I have been pushing myself to the limit now, I don't know how much I can take if things keep getting worse. I still have faith with this team, I'll give myself some time to sort it out, if it still fails, I'll know what I shall do.

Connection down

At first, it's my brother's PC network spolit, cannot connect to internet.
Then, today, after he's using my laptop to surf net for 2 weekends, now it's my turn to find that my laptop's wireless connection is down.
I have tried to call to the streamyx for support, but at the end, I'm able to connect using the LAN cable... gosh!
Which means that, now I'm staying in my brother's stuffy room, with full of 'spidermen', and probably cockcroaches or mice somewhere...... luckily still got fan, but I think my hottie laptop cannot 'tahan' for too long.
Not a very lucky connection day, huh?

Rest

I took a 1/2 day MC today.
Yes, just 1/2 day.
My friends said I'm a workaholic. For me, I just being responsible.
But I might have taken too much responsibilities on myself, until I'm gonna burst out.
Actually, when I went to the office, I have already regretted.
I should have taken full day rest.
Because even if I was in the office, staring at the monitor, my brain is blank, and heavy.
I guess it's the side effect of the medicine.
Cough medicine makes you feel drowsy.
Even if I've been there for > 5 hours, I don't know what have I done.
I try so hard to pull myself together.
I try so hard to keep myself up.
But sometimes things never go the right way.
And now, it's time for me to sleep.

Back to Ipoh again

Maybe I shouldn't use "back" because it's not my hometown actually...
but there are some kind of connections I had in this place, especially my childhood memory.
As time goes by, everything changed.
And things can never be the same again after grandma passed away.
Trees had been cut. Neighbours' houses are renovated. New highway behind. Empty houses...
The view is totally different from what was in my memory last time.
All the kids have grown up, and they have their own lives.
What we can do, is to stay close to each other, keep us in contact.
This time, we went there along my brother-in-law and the little boy boy.
For the first time, we stayed in no relative's house nor grandma's house, but in the hotel.
A budget hotel nearby aunt's house.
Very small, no window, stuffy if no air-cond...... but quite clean and tidy.
I know that we cannot get back to our old times, but at least I wish that we could stay together in the future. Even after so many years later, we can still keep in touch.
We are in a family afterall.

So Long...

Finally, he has to walked out from here.
It may not be what he wanted to, but at least, it's good for him, and good for us.
I was supposed to feel happy, but I didn't.
It's nothing to be happy with.
Our work, become so busy like never before.
H asked, we have new deployment today, is it ok we let him go now?
I don't know the answer.
But it's all about timing.
If this is the time, we have to let him go.
Hopefully he'll find his future outside.
At least he understands.
Good Luck!