My Throwback of 2016

My journey in 2016 didn't start good at the beginning. But after I finally got myself back on, I managed to do things better. It ended quite... well... actually not bad, I won't say it's perfectly fine, at least it has improved from what I expected.

I had 2 overseas trip this year, HK & TW. Both are not budget trip, considering the spending I had for the trip or in the country. However it was fun and I would think it worth the money I spent. There are some moments money can't buy. Next year I hope that I can travel more and hopefully it'll more more budget.

For games, I'm still playing my Candy Crush Soda and Farmville 2. I realized that I played Criminal Mind a lot last year but stopped since Sep. After that I'm getting into Pokemon Go. Anyhow I'm not a hardcore player, not a good player also.

I'm a fan for Super Junior, and like some of the Korean groups and songs. This year I started to like EXO. Not a diehard fan, but started to follow their news, watch their shows, listen to their songs and buy their albums. Nothing special, just because I like the songs.

Here are some of the important things happened last year. I will have a review of my last year resolution after this and see how far I went.

Psycho neighbour

My family seriously disturbed by the psycho neighbor in the beginning of the year. He just moved in a few months but kept on making loud and disturbing noise like dragging the table and chair, bouncing balls (sounds like iron ball) on the floor, banging the wall...... it was so disturbing until we almost went mad. We tried so many ways to stop him, including banging back from our end (ya it's a stupid way) but it didn't work. Actually we should have talked to them but based on our past experience dealing with him, we decided not to confront him. Luckily they finally moved out and we got back our peace.

2016-01 Doomed News

After the result, it was almost my doom day because it's really out of my expectation. But I managed to pull myself together and keep moving on. It wasn't easy. But you may also say it's because I didn't have other choice. Anyhow I can take it as my resilience achievement. I don't expect the same thing happen again next year, if it does, I'll consider to make a move this time.

2016-01-19 Pre-CNY Dinner （收工酒）

这是一个没有“酒”的收工“酒”

I used to have dinner with my buddies every year before CNY (Chinese New Year). But there are less people joined year by year, and this year, another 2 are leaving. So next year I'm not sure we will still have the dinner or not. Anyhow it's a good memory to me.

2016-02-13 Gathering of friends from Primary School

These are my primary schoolmates, last time we met was around 10 years ago I believe. It's not easy to get everybody together. And.... all of them are married... 😅

2016-02-25 Gathering of S3Science Girls

Another gathering, where 4 of us are being together. We were from 高三理 (Senior 3 Science) when we were in school. That time only 6 girls in a class. Very precious. But it's very difficult to get everybody together nowadays. And, again, they're all married. 😢

2016-04-13 Shell Safety Day

Shell Safety Day 2016, PDRM K9 unit brought police dogs along. First time taking photo so close with fierce animal. He's actually very cute~~~ ♥️

2016-04-21 Car Breakdown at Dpulze

Link to the story: A story about car breakdown

I would say it is another bad day for me of the year where my car suddenly couldn't start up at night inside a carpark of a shopping mall (Dpulze), and it's almost 10pm when the mall was going to close. Luckily I managed to call my colleague for help. After that I've learned that you always need to get your car serviced or checked on time. Or... don't go out at night alone.

2016-05-21 Photo with 林德荣

First of all I'm not his fan. But I quite like this DJ when I used to listen to MYFM. I met him in the airport playground when he's with his family. He was so friendly, when I greeted him and asked if I can take photo with him, he actually took my phone and took a selfie.

2016-05-26 New Phone

I bought a new phone before my existing phone broke down. And this time I purposely go for a quite high-end one: Mi Note. A 64GB phone and costs me > RM1500. Anyway I never regret, I love the huge capacity and HD camera, I brought it to my HK & TW trip and it so far didn't let me down. I still got half of the storage inside.

2016-05-28 SBO Superhero Run & Family Carnival

This year the Shell run and the family day (family carnival) are on the same day. And what happened was, after a 8km run (walk), I cramped my ankle and I could hardly walk. Because of that, my parents and nephew have to hold on with me, they didn't walk much or play much this time. Next year if we have family day again I won't join the run together.

2016-06-10 to 12 Trip to Hong Kong

Album: 2016-06 My Footsteps in Hong Kong

My first time going HK with my friend, a very short trip because my friend just go there for Beyond's concert. Many says it doesn't worth it but at least I stepped in to the country. I have no regrets and I met my HK friends. Actually I've been to many landmarks in HK already so what else do I expect?

Pokemon Go

The fever of Pokemon Go started this year. At the beginning I thought of not playing it but later on I couldn't stand the "itchy hand" to start on the game. What happen next.... is that I'm still playing now even if others have stopped 😂. Anyway I'm not a hardcore player, I just play as and when I feel like want to catch anything or I'm bored. I'm still in very low level but I'm fine with it. The fever of Pokemon Go doesn't last long, now many people are feeling bored and the players are getting lesser and lesser now.

2016-08 Rio Olympics

Rio Olympics 2016 happened in August. Where our Datuk Lee still couldn't get his first gold medal in Olympics game, but he won the support from the nation and fans from other countries. He is doing very well, just it's not his time. But his game with Lin Dan is the best.

2016-08-08 MYSG Commercial Fleet Away Day

Coaches were invited to MYSGCF Away Day and facilitate for the Treasure Hunt game. It was fun although it's quite tiring. And still... I hate doing make-ups..... 

2016-09-04 Gala Dinner

Annual CSC dinner, CSE team has played a sketch. Quite short but funny. Not used to perform on stage but it was a good experience.

2016-08-18 CSE Away Day

Last year, our team had our 2D1N Away Day at Port Dickson Grand Lexis hotel, this year, pathetically... we only had a half day event in Putrajaya Pullman Hotel. Not so special actually but at least.... it's an Away Day. 😜

2016-09-15 Hair Cut

I cut my hair short (not so short, just shoulder length...) after... don't know how long.

2016-10-22 Zumba Party

First time ever, I went for a Zumba party with my office friends. I joined Zumba dance for 1 or 2 years already 

2016-10-30 One Day Trip

I went to a 1D trip with my parents, but I also don't know where I went... the most I remembered was I had a quite good but long-waited Ulu Yam Loh Mee.

2016-11-19 Alex Retirement Dinner

My boss/manager Alex retired this year, and we had a dinner in a restaurant at Cyberjaya Resort. After 30+ years of service he could end his journey completely in Shell. It's one of my goal too. But, how much longer I can stay in here?

2016-12-14 to 19 Trip to Taiwan (Taipei)

FB Album: Journey in Taipei @ 2016Dec 2016年末之旅 - 臺北

Before end of the year, I had my final trip overseas with my best buddy and her family. It is definitely not a "budget" trip, but at least I enjoyed the moment with them and I had been most of the must-go places in Taipei. This year all my overseas trip are not budget at all, but still, no regrets. Sometimes things cannot be perfect, you just need to enjoy the moment whenever you have the chance.

Always in Our Heart

It's heartbroken to hear a sobbing voice from the phone and you can't help to soothe the pain.

The lost of the loved one in all a sudden is very shocking and unexpected. Even I can't really believe how things could happen in just a few weeks, a person who was still smiling and talking to you a few months ago has disappeared from your life just like that.

I didn't see him much actually. I just met him a few times and we talked for not longer than 1 hour in total. Usually it was during weddings, his daughter's and son's. Nothing much. I still remember he was such a humble and gentle person. He always speak softly, slow pace, low tone. I never heard he raised up his voice, I never saw him getting irritated with somebody or something. He was such a nice man that I thought he could at least be with them for at least 20 years.

My friend was really shocked when the first message that she got was he was diagnosed with a possibly fatal illness. She was ready to come back, but just before she could get everything planned and ready, he collapsed. The situation didn't give her any chance to have longer preparation, without any delay, she came back with 2 young ones. Everything just went too fast, until she lost him forever.

She could hardly accept the fact, it was so fast, his heartbeat just stopped like that. I felt bad when I was still on my way to her house.

I don't know what could I do to help her. All I can do is just to be by her side, talk to her. I know she has her belief to support herself, but still it's not easy to get through all the pain, and it takes a very long time.

There are many things they have missed when he was here, but nothing can bring him back again. I believe that time can heal the pain, and I hope their memories together can keep her strong.

Stay strong, my friend. And we will all be with you.

Spoke Out

First, it started with a statement from my organization:

Feel free to speak your mind without negative consequences.

Somehow it doesn't really exist in real situation. People are afraid in their mind, no matter how much you encourage them to speak out. Things are always personal. It takes a very high EQ and wisdom to be a neutral person.

After a thousand thoughts in my mind, finally, since he brought up the SPS, I made up my mind and took my 120% courage to stop him and speak my mind.

It was not an easy conversation definitely, especially when you know that who are you dealing with. For someone who poor in words like me, it really takes up a lot of guts to open up my heart to others who has the decisive role to you.

It took less than an hour to complete the conversation, although when I thought about it afterwards I found that I have missed out some important points, I still feel relieved at least I've spoken out what I have been thinking of doing it for so long.

Will it bring any negative consequences after this conversation? I hope not. But if it does, it's out of my control. I've done my part. Our leaders encouraged us to "feel free to speak our mind", so moving forward, it's depends on how I'm going to do to gain their trust.

Actually before this, I really had so many things in my mind what I would like to share:

• I had trust at the beginning until I found that my words had been shared with others which I thought it should be between both of us.
• It's definitely not wise to tell people, "I studied psychology before, I know what are you thinking", you don't need to say it if you do.
• Trust is earned, not given, and
  Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled, it won't be perfect again.

But anyhow, it's over. I should pull myself together again and leave the past behind and continue my journey. Hopefully I can find my way out now.

Bad Mood

The bad feeling and emotion have been bothering me since the day I got the result and it has never really recovered.

I keep on thinking what have I done wrong or didn't do that make me the worst of all. And why the gap is so big until I found myself in a valley while others are on the mountain top. Am I really that bad? If not, why I was being treated in that way? Is there something I could have done differently to at least not being mistreated?

People keeps on telling me to be "Resilience", But what does it mean by that? If the outcome is due to an unexpected crisis happened which is out of control like economic downturn, policy change, etc. at least it's not because of performance issue, I feel down, upset but still no doubt on myself. But this time, it seems what I've got is just because of my performance issue, and in fact what I've done was not much less or worse than those highflyers, then why it's happening to me? How do I be resilience if things are being unfair to me? How do I change the mind of somebody who can decide my fate and manipulate my result? Honestly I have no answer about it.

I used to thought that I've been through so many challenges and down times, I could handle everything and face any challenge, but still, like what Chinese saying: there's no worst, but worse (something like that, 没有最糟，只有更糟). When you thought you've come across the worst, there are always worse thing or people ahead of you. I'm not sure I've got into the worst, what I know is that it's really really hard for me to pull me up again.

I always tell myself I'm not bad, I can perform, I've proved myself before. But still, there are more and more impacts to me that brought me down. It's like when you are walking forward, there are always got hard things hitting you, sometimes are rocks, sometimes strong wind, sometimes is the sand storms.... I don't know if I've made my words rational or clear enough to describe my feeling now. If I would to choose a word to describe what I feel at the moment, it will be "sucks".

If you asked me whether I'll still move on. Of course I have to. I have no choice. But how to get myself up and fight again, I really don't know. I always believe in "law of attraction", if I keep on thinking to get those silly things and people out of my life, will it comes true one day?