Complicated...

I don't know how to describe my feelings now.
I didn't really tell the 'good news' to anybody initiatively, not even my parents.
It's just... not really so good to me.
I feel so stressed after the decision was made, although I'm trying to keep myself in normal every moment. But the truth is, things changed, I cannot be still the 'free-and-easy' kind of agent anymore.
From the other side, at least I take the tasks officially, with a 'name'. Not doing something I'm not supposed to do. Another good thing is, of course is the numbers...
Now I stayed at the office until dark everyday, sometimes I'm also not sure if I really need to. But the thing is, if this team collapse, nothing good to me. And since I've taken the responsibility, I have to make sure the team is in good operation.
Yes, many people said I've put too much responsibilities to myself. I shouldn't have to.
But I really don't know how to handle it, how to keep it work but not affecting my freetime.
I wish to take ALs whenever I want, I wish to go travelling as long as I could, I wish to work in free and easy way.
I think the only way I can get out of this crisis, is to stop everything, take a rest, settle down myself, and then start all over again.
停下来，沉淀自己，再重新出发。
如果可以，我真的希望自己可以有这么一天。

p/s: oh ya... fyi. I'll be the TL officially starting from this friday.....